


The Greatest Sacrfice

by ActiveStardust



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Consent Issues, Except for Snoke, Family Feels, Family Issues, Just tagging to be transparent, Kylo Ren Backstory, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Redemption, Lots of Angst, Mary Sue, Redemption, Redemption all around, Rey is my fave, The anakin part is small, Upped the rating just because, probs - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 06:40:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7424053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActiveStardust/pseuds/ActiveStardust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are still many secrets surrounding the night Ben Solo became Kylo Ren.  In the midst of this new persona, Kylo struggles to care for a child placed in his care.  Immersed in hatred, the girl seems doomed to fall prey to the same darkness.  But the force works in mysterious ways, and sometimes the path to redemption leads you through hell first.  Book 1 of 3 (I think).</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Greatest Sacrfice

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Lovelies! My job is stressful, so this is my way of blowing of steam. I've had this idea floating through my head for awhile now, eating at my brain. I upped the rating because this story is writing me right now, so I have no idea whats going to happen. I have a beginning, middle, and end, but the road there might be rocky. As described in the summary this is Pre-TFA, so none of our favorite characters (except First Order folks) are present yet. Book 2 will veer off into left field for a minute (pre-warning), because I don't like inserting myself into the movie itself. The force awakens happens fairly quickly so we'll basically be on a holiday for part of the book. Anyway, I don't want to confuse anyone more than necessary at this point, so I digress. Please keep all hands and feet inside, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

Ch 1: The purpose

“Please state your name for the record.” The interrogator requested, eyes concentrated solely on a data pad in his hand. In front of him sat a prisoner, whose eyes remained trained on a singular spot on the metal table between them. 

The girl in question remained silent, though her fists clenched every few seconds. There was a thin bead of sweat forming on her brow, and finally, her hand relaxed. The silence was deafening, the only sound being the prisoners ragged breathing.

Until, 

“My name is Raena. At least that’s what everyone calls me.” She answered in a calm tone, startling nearly everyone in the room. She hadn’t spoken on the entire ride to the resistance base, and they had not anticipated her to start without further coaxing.

“Okay Raena, how did you come to be on a first order base?” The general asked, recovering from his shock quickly. 

“I was taken there as a baby.” She replied without hesitation this time, and leaned back in the chair, as if she were getting comfortable.

“For what purpose?” The general continued, going down the list on his data pad. Raena smiled at that, the type of smile that betrayed all the bitterness she harbored.

“The first order takes whomever they want for whatever they want. They need people to do all kinds of things. Cook, clean, fight. I was supposed to work as a medic.” The girl explained.

“A medic? And yet, you worked alongside Kylo Ren instead.” The general retorted, for the first time allowing anger to color his tone. 

“Kylo Ren noticed potential in me. He was the only one who ever did. It wasn’t like I had much of a choice, refusing his tutelage would have likely resulted in my death. That doesn’t mean I wanted it.” Raena argued, eyes narrowed and fists clenched once again.

“I will be the judge of that.” A voice rang out from the corner of the room. His entire form was cloaked in shadow, so that all Raena could make out was his silhouette.

She didn’t need to see his voice to know who it was.

It was him.

 

Flashback 8 years ago:

Raena Botelli was just a handmaiden. She had been told that her entire life. From the moment that she was born, and plucked from her mother’s arms, those were the words that had echoed in her ears. It was the Republics fault, they had reasoned, to little avail. In the first orders eyes, taking children was a necessary evil. One that would ensure that everyone they had in their ranks was both loyal and properly trained. 

Brainwashed, more like. But she was different, because she was just a handmaiden. Force sensitive, sometimes, but not enough to garner any real attention. Maids, it seemed, could blend in. There was no reason for them to be loyal to a fault, so some did bear resentment. It was the fear that kept everyone in line, the fear that kept them from disobeying.

The day had started off as any other. Just a normal day in a string of them, filled with meaningless tasks and endless chores. Often, when Raena had a moment of peace she would sit and watch the stars, and wonder how many galaxies lie beyond their singular Starfleet. She liked to imagine families with their whole world ahead of them, and the freedom to make whatever choices they wished. Sometimes she would daydream about her own family, but that often just made her sad.

On this day Raena had been sitting, dreaming about the stars and the world beyond, when a cruiser came into orbit. At first, it didn’t pique her interest, they were on a space station after all. 

It was the air shifting that had made Raena take a second look. She felt the force around her, stifling and sad, weighing her down like a boulder on her chest. When she closed her eyes to try to push it away, she saw only red, and heard screams echo in her ears.

The screams turned to real life yells. There was a mass of people, whooping and hollering, heading toward the landing bay. Raena followed, blending in with the crowd, and trying not to draw too much attention.

In the front of the group, she saw a newly appointed General Hux, although he was not making any sort of commotion at all. In fact, he whirled around, and Raena could see that he was red from anger.

“Calm yourselves men!” He bellowed once, successfully quieting every man.

A crowd had gathered as the ship approached, and Raena finally spotted some of her own. Quickly she inched toward them, being careful as to not bump any of the officers.

When she reached them she noted that they looked to be quietly gossiping amongst themselves.

“Raena where have you been? Miriam’s looking for you.” Selve commented in a hurried tone.

Miriam was their “Caretaker”, and when she was looking for you it meant nothing good.

“I was on my break. What’s going on?” Raena questioned, eyes trained on the ship that was landing.

“What’s going on? Kylo Ren is here.” Alayne answered, in a slightly condescending tone. Raena felt the confusion wash over her, and as much as she didn’t want to seem stupid, she had to ask.

“Who?” 

The women all gave her a sharp look, and Alayne rolled her eyes.

“Honestly, where have you been all day? The Knights of Ren just massacred all the remaining Jedi at Skywalker’s Padawan School. The whole Galaxy is talking about it. Kylo Ren is their leader.” Alayne summarized, looking a little too proud of herself.

Raena realized that this probably explained the shift in the force. Suddenly she wanted to cry, hearing this news. 

“Raena you really need to go, Miriam needs you for a job right away.” Selve urged, in a far kinder tone then their other friend.

Raena spared once last glance over to the ship, where people were starting to disembark. Through the crowd she spotted a man. Her eyesight had never been that good, but he was impossible to miss. Raena could see his energy, engulfing him like the red hot sun. It made her insides feel cold.

As she was walking away, she wondered on what was behind the mask. Was there a man there, or a monster?

When Raena finally reached the servants quarters, Miriam wasted no time in rapping her over the head.

“Where have you been girl? You have an important job and you are nowhere to be found!” The woman ranted, boxing her ears one more time for good measure. Raena was dizzy, but she tried not to allow tears to build in her eyes.

“I’m sorry, ma’am.” Raena apologized, trying to sound sincere. The older woman narrowed her eyes, but seemed to buy it.

“Fine. Come with me.” She ordered, gesturing for the girl to follow. Raena quickly obeyed, and followed the woman down a series of hallways until they reached a door.

They were in the officer’s quarters, though Raena had no idea why.

When the door opened, the entire room seemed bathed in light. Something had reached down deep and made her feel warm again.

In the middle of the room was a cradle, and Raena approached cautiously. Sure enough, there was baby, looking up at her with the most innocent of gazes. 

“A baby?” She questioned, feeling more confused by the second.

“You will watch her.” Miriam instructed, giving no further explanation. Just then the child stirred, and began to quietly cry.

Raena reached into the cradle and picked up the small baby, taking a moment to wipe the tear tracks away.

“It’s alright baby. Don’t cry.” Raena cooed, rocking the child. It wasn’t working, and she hoped her incompetence didn’t show on her face. “But ma’am, why me?” She asked the matriarch, who was typing information into a datapad.

“Don’t ask me, it wasn’t I who requested it. I have no idea what lead to this development.” Miriam responded, sounding bored with the whole situation.

Raena thought she might have an idea of why she was chosen, but it wouldn’t be wise to voice it.

“Hush hush.” She pleaded, to the child who was still crying softly in her arms.

“I will send a nursemaid.” Miriam said, and then left with no further room for argument. Raena gaped, and looked around for somewhere to sit.

“I’m sorry, this is all very sudden for me as well.” She told the child, who now seemed to be picking up on her panic.

She paced, and looked down at the little girl in her arms.

“You miss your mother don’t you?” she asked, and the baby continued to cry. Something in the cries told her that she had been right. 

“I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I miss mine as well. Everyday.” Raena soothed, finally choosing just to sit on the available bed.

“It’s going to be okay.” She told the child, whose tears were silent, but no less frequent.

Suddenly the door slid open, and Raena stood.

It was the figure from before, Kylo Ren. Raena gripped the child closer to her chest, hoping that he wouldn’t truly hurt a child who was only a day old.

“Sir.” She sputtered out, nearly forgetting to bow her head.

“Give her to me.” Kylo ordered, his voice mechanical through the helmet on his head.

“I was told to take care of her.” Raena explained, not willing to disobey a direct order from either parties.

“Yes, and now I want to see the child. Give her to me.” Kylo said, holding out his arms. He won’t kill her, Raena told herself, and then she repeated it like a mantra. Quietly, she transferred the crying child into Kylo Ren’s arms.

There was something so cold in the gaze through his mask, that it sent chills down her spine. 

“All of this, for a baby in a little pink blanket?” He questioned, voice as devoid as the face she imagined under his helmet.

To Raena’s surprise, the baby had ceased to cry, and was now staring up at the man with a look akin to fascination.

There was a silence, as the man and baby looked at each other. A gloved hand reached forward toward the baby’s head, and touched her forehead.   
The child made no move to shy away, but squirmed a bit uncomfortably.

“Interesting.” The man said, withdrawing his hand. Raena knew what had transpired, and it made her anger rise.

“A likely disappointment. But I know how to follow orders.” Kylo said, before roughly depositing the child back in Raena’s arms.

Raena could feel something in Kylo rising up. Anger, like she had never felt before in her life. It wanted to consume them all.

“Take it away.” He suddenly ordered, waving his hand dismissively. 

“But the nursemaid is coming here, I don’t have anywhere to take her…” Raena tried to explain, before the anger erupted from Kylo like a wave. Raena had to push back just to keep it from knocking her off her feet.

“I said TAKE IT AWAY!” He roared, activating his lightsaber. The weapon sputtered uncontrollably, much like Kylo’s own anger, shooting red sparks everywhere. In one fell swoop, Kylo had swung and cut the cradle clean in half. Raena gaped, fearing for her life, and the life of the baby. 

“Get out!” He screamed, lunging at her and swinging his lightsaber wildly. He didn’t hit her, and she didn’t actually think he meant to, but she didn’t pause to look back as she ran from the room. 

When she finally stopped running a safe distance away, she slid down the wall, still clutching the baby protectively.

“It’s going to be okay.” She repeated, only this time, it was a promise.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you!
> 
> Please drop a comment, question, suggestion as needed. I will use all flames to warm my cold dead heart.


End file.
